


Moonlight, Letters and Separation Anxiety

by ThiccLog



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bill Cipher is a Jerk, Broccoli, Human Bill Cipher, M/M, So read at ur own risk, a stupid beef jerk, accidental vent, disaster bill, honestly this might turn into more but no promises, i honestly dont know, i literally had the idea while brushing my teeth, multiple people have told me this made them sad, they were roommates, they're both kind of a mess, this happened on accident
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:15:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25711225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThiccLog/pseuds/ThiccLog
Summary: In the middle of the night, Bill and Dipper dig into their anxieties. Neither of them feel better afterwards.
Relationships: Bill Cipher & Dipper Pines, Bill Cipher/Dipper Pines
Comments: 11
Kudos: 42





	Moonlight, Letters and Separation Anxiety

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't wanna throw anyone into unexpected moods so I'll say it again, THIS IS SAD. At least my friends said so. Trust my friends.

Dipper couldn't sleep. His eyes were fixed on the wall, illuminated by cold moonlight. It must've been close to midnight at this point and rest was nowhere in sight.

The letter on his dorm’s kitchen table burned itself into Dipper's mind. It wouldn't leave his thoughts alone. He didn't want to open it. Not when it decided over the next couple of years of his life. When it decided if all the endless hours of studying paid off or if he wasted his time and college had been for nothing. 

Dipper shifted, wrapping the blanket tighter around himself despite the mild air.

"Hey, Broccoli."

He snorted, turning over to see the other side of the dorm. Another bed stood on the opposite side of the wall. A pair of piercing blue eyes watched him.

"And I thought Pine Tree was a bad nickname already," Dipper mused.

"I know you're into it." Bill grinned, propping his head up on his hand.

"Your nicknames? Definitely not."

Bill opened his mouth but ended up yawning.

"Can't sleep?" Dipper wasn’t sure if Bill had read the replies to his applications already. Or if he had received them yet. If Bill didn’t get any, then Dipper would definitely be rejected. The sheer amount of knowledge that man possessed scared him ever so often.

"Nah, your overthinking woke me up. Just open the damn letter so I can rest in peace."

Dipper chuckled. "You would be much more annoyed if you could actually hear all my thoughts."

"I bet." They looked at each other in silence. Bill's blonde hair shimmered silver in the light. "When do you plan on opening it? Seriously. Something has to be wrong with you to be blue balling yourself like this."

"Tomorrow morning… maybe."

"As soon as you're awake. Promise."

Dipper rolled his eyes. "Fine."

"I don't get why you're this worried anyways."

"Hm let's see… because I've been wanting to do this job for my whole life and went through four years of college to get there? Because it decides where I will live and if I end up broke on the street or not? Because I don't want to keep leeching off of my parents and disappoint my sister? Silly, right?" Dipper laughed but his eyes stung with tears. The words spilled his mouth like they were waiting to get out. He turned back to the wall. His chances of being taken at the Oregon Institute of Health were slim. So much so that he had almost not applied there at all.

"Dipper…"

"It's gonna be the biggest kick in the face and I know it! They're gonna reject me and I'll spend half a year being a useless, d-depressed kid who can't support himself without the help of his parents! I already have next to no self worth!" He hugged his blanket. Tears stained his face and sheets. Salty and hot. He wiped his eyes but they wouldn't stop. "M-maybe I should just throw the letter away… or burn it so nobody else will have the chance to see what a mess I am."

The other bed creaked. Naked feet hit the ground. His mattress caved in. Strong arms wrapped around his waist as Bill nuzzled his head against his neck. Dipper sobbed. The warmth on his back felt like the morning sun shining through the clouds.

"You have no reason to be worried. You studied hard for this and it will pay off. I'm sure of it." Bill kissed his neck.

Dipper sniffed. "Really?"

"Dipper, I don't think I know anyone else who worked their ass off as much as you did. If they don't take you, I'm sure you're gonna have at least a hundred people jumping to kiss your shoes."

"Like you?" Dipper turned around, hugging Bill back.

Bill wiped off the last of Dipper's tears. "You wish! You can lick _my_ shoes and then maybe I'll consider hiring you at the grandiose Cipher Company."

"Bastard. I don't want to be employed at your fictional company anyways." Dipper smiled, jabbing at Bill. It was incredible how fast the guy could make him feel better. He was like an emotional magician.

Bill gasped. "Now you're being rude! It hurts, Pine Tree! It really does!"

Dipper put his finger on Bill's lips. "Shh, you're gonna wake everyone in a ten mile radius with your drama queen behavior."

A mischievous grin crept onto Bill's features. He licked Dipper's finger.

Dipper yanked it away, frantically wiping the saliva on Bill's tank top. "Ew! You filthy animal!"

"That's what you get for being a brat." Bill grinned in satisfaction.

"Stupid beef jerk! I can't believe I'm dating you!" Dipper whacked Bill’s chest, smiling.

"Couldn't help but fall for my good looks, huh?"

"And your dumb idiot behavior apparently. Mabel was right, I have terrible taste."

"You _do_ have terrible taste _but_ I'm the exception!"

"Shut up already, narcissistic ass!"

Bill purred. "Make me."

Dipper hesitated for a second. Well, it wasn't like he could sleep anyways. He gladly took the invitation, leaning in and pushing against Bill. He kissed him and it didn't take them long to find their usual rhythm. Letting go to get air and going right back. Bill sat up, pressing Dipper against the rough wall. Smirking down. God did he look incredible in the moonlight.

Dipper wanted more but a weird taste spread over his tongue. He frowned, smacking his lips. This better not be what he thought it was. "Have you been drinking again?"

Bill's eyes flickered in panic. "I ate a little bit of chocolate with alcohol in it earlier. Gift from a friend."

Yeah, that was _totally_ not a lie. "You haven't eaten a single piece of chocolate ever since we met and you scoff at me every time I eat one. At least _try_ to convince me."

"...okay, yes I drank. Only a little wine though. It was a dumb impulse decision and I regret it." Bill looked down, whispering. “Maybe more than a little.”

"But why? What happened?" Whatever it was, it couldn't be good.

"I don't wanna talk about it…"

"Bill, we've been over this. No more secrets."

"I missed the taste, nothing more."

Dipper squinted. This didn't make much sense at all. Why hide it if that was the case? Especially with his history of substance abuse. "What happened?"

No answer. He got up, turned away and walked to his bed. "It's late."

Dipper sighed. "That's besides the point. Bill _please!_ If you want our relationship to work out then you're gonna have to open up about yourself."

Bill laughed. Bitterly. "And that's the point! Because guess what? _I_ didn't get accepted anywhere! Not at the Oregon Institute of Health! Not anywhere in Oregon! Not anywhere in the west of America! I got accepted in a shitty fucking backwater town near New York!"

Oh. This was unexpected. "Bill… I'm sorry-"

Bill dug his heel into the ground. " _You_ don't need to be sorry! You know who does? Me! Because I'm too fucking misbehaved to work anywhere! Because my track record is so goddamn bad that nobody could hire me without being afraid that I'll burn their whole ass company down while high on three different drugs!" Bill's voice sounded strained and he collapsed on his bed, face buried under his hands. "I'm the mess of the two of us! I'm the dumpster fire!"

Dipper wasn't sure how to reply. How to comfort him. He asked the first thing that came to his mind. "What's so bad about that town?"

Bill laughed again, this time he sounded broken. Dipper felt his heart crack. After some silence, Bill looked up. "You're serious, aren't you?"

"Yeah?"

"We won't be able to see each other. I'll... lose you, Dipper." His eyes were a storm of emotions. Waves crashing over a drowning man.

Dipper crossed the room and sat next to Bill, putting his hand on Bill’s leg. "Why are you against a long distance relationship if I mean that much to you?"

" _Because_ you mean so much to me! Long distance _never_ works out! It either ends because of a dumb fight, detachment or because one of them needed action! It's always the same!"

"Are you seriously worried about me cheating?"

He snorted. "I'm more worried about myself. I'd fuck the next best vaccum when I'm desperate."

That didn’t sound as honest as Dipper would’ve liked. He tried not to take it personally since it wasn’t too surprising with Bill acting possessive sometimes. "I don't know what experiences you made but we can find a way. Plus, it's not even certain if I got accepted at the job. Especially if they didn't even accept _you._ "

"Just look at the damn letter!" Bill growled.

Dipper flinched at the sudden volume. "It's not morning yet..."

Bill glared at his phone. "It's past midnight. Aka morning. And you promised you'd open it. Just do it already!"

Dipper swallowed. Thinking about it made his stomach coil. “I said _after_ I wake up."

"You know what?" Bill pushed past Dipper, out of bed. "If you don't have the balls to open it, I will. At least then I can rest in fucking peace knowing we will both have forgotten about each other in half a year!"

"What? No wait!" Dipper jumped up. His pulse skyrocketed. Bill already reached the kitchen. Dipper sprinted, trying to grab the letter from the table. "Bill-"

His sweaty hand hit cold wood.

Dipper reached for it but to no avail. Bill tore the letter open, warding him off with his broad back. "Bill seriously! This isn't fair! It's my letter!"

"That's life for ya." Bill pushed Dipper's face away with his free hand, frowning at the letter. "Dear Mister Pines, bla bla bla…"

He scanned over the text, scowling. Then he stopped. 

Bill let Dipper go and slammed the letter onto the table. "Fucking told you so."

Dipper cast a worried glance at him, then the letter. He took it hesitantly, hands shaking. Curious but scared. It felt as rough as sandpaper yet silky smooth. He bit his lip as he began to read.

No, he couldn't have seen that right. He read over it again. And again. Now way.

Dipper gasped. "I'm in! I’m actually in!"

"And they want to promote you after the test period..."

"Wait, really!? I will be able to afford a nice apartment!" He might even be able to get a balcony and a decent kitchen! Maybe even a new laptop! Oh and he could get a ton of books! "I can't wait to move!"

He needed to call Mabel right now! And his Grunkles! And his parents! And-

Bill looked conflicted. Sad? Angry? Either way, he shouldn’t have said that. Not in front of him. Especially not right now. 

"Congrats. Have fun with your new boyfriend in motherfucking Oregon,” Bill said, irritated.

"Bill…"

"No, it's alright." He threw on a jacket and yanked on the doorknob. "I'll go take a walk, don't wanna ruin your mood!"

The door slammed shut. And all Dipper could do was stare as his vision grew blurry. He messed up. He hadn’t meant to rub salt into the wound. But Bill was already gone. And so was any positive emotion.

This was not what he expected the time at his dream job to start out with.

**Author's Note:**

> I have an interview at my college of choice tomorrow, haha.
> 
> Okay this was literally the most random thing that came out of nowhere BUT also very refreshing. I'm currently revising a longer Billdip fic. Longer as in longer than my last one, As Narrated by the Axolotl. And honestly way better. Not to spoiler too much but it's a mafia au, though I feel like it has a different vibe to the ones I've seen. It features my main Bill who I draw the most, Deus, also known as thicc tiddy man or Himbodeus.
> 
> If you want to check out my art you can find me on Instagram and Twitter under @terroiart (and also on Tumblr and Deviantart, but I don't post a lot on there).
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
